What We will cover in this article (click on any of them to skip to that part):

• What is the purpose of a name or pronoun?
• Name changes in the Bible
• God’s purpose in Male / Female design
• Our role as ambassadors of Christ
• Practical Steps

Key Points:

Second, the Bible warns against flattery, because it is actually based on our own selfish motives, not the other person. We flatter others because we want their approval and for them to speak and think well of us. We want to be liked and to avoid conflict. Flattery, spreads a net for their feet (Proverbs 29:5), is equated to lying (Psalm 78:36), and it works ruin (Proverbs 26:28). But we are told that “Whoever rebukes a person will in the end gain favor rather than one who has a flattering tongue.”

This does not mean I will intentionally embarrass someone in public or call them out. I often just talk about the Gospel when I am talking with a stranger or acquaintance. But if someone asks you to use the wrong name or pronoun, thank them for telling you what they’re going through, but ask them questions about it. Don’t answer immediately. Listen well and pray as they speak. Whoever you are talking with, tell them you love them enough to remind them that God created them for a purpose and a plan more wonderful than they know yet (Jeremiah 29:11-13, Psalm 139, Jeremiah 1:5).

Okay, let’s get into the meat of it.

Consider these things:

1. What is the purpose of a pronoun?
2. What is the purpose of a name?
3. What does the pronoun declare about that person?

What’s In a Name?

When the Lord was calling me out of the transgender lifestyle, I had heard Him calling me Laura in my prayers. I knew the Lord did not affirm me as Jake or as a man. He was patient with me. He proved He loved me, but He knew I would only be free if I embraced His design of me and worshipped Him as Creator rather than myself.

A name is an essential part of our identity. It is how we are identified by others. We see in the Bible deep significance in the meaning of names. Often names in the Bible were prophetic either about themselves or about God’s overall plan. However, names have a much more important meaning we need to understand. God named Adam, but God gave Adam the responsibility to name all of the animals as well as his wife. Why? Because Although God was the authority over Adam, He gave authority over of all the animals and his wife and ultimately his family as well.

There are examples in the Bible of people’s names being changed, but not often. Can you list some of the names that were changed? Abram and Sarai to Abraham and Sarah, Jacob to Israel, Simon to Peter, to name a few. In those cases, God changed their names for a significant reason. Often this was for a greater purpose than themselves. It was ultimately about God’s overall plan for His people.

What are some examples of names that people decided to change for themselves?

I knew what the Lord had spoken to me and how He had confirmed this to me many times, but I asked the Lord for a biblical defense. I was studying the book of Ruth one day and was struck by the story of Naomi that I mentioned earlier. While Naomi was not claiming to be transgender, she was angry and bitter at the Lord. She had left her hometown of Bethlehem years earlier, but her husband and two adult sons died while there. When she returned with her daughter-in-law, Ruth, the people of Bethlehem could not believe their eyes. They asked, “Is this Naomi”?

Remember, Naomi means pleasant. “’Don’t call me Naomi,’ she told them. ‘Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. 21 I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.’” (Ruth 1:20-21). But the next verse calls her Naomi. The Bible goes on to call her Naomi another eleven times, for a total of twelve, after she says “call me Mara”.

Not once does the Bible call her Mara. Twelve is the biblical number representing God’s authority. God is putting His stamp of authority on her saying, “You are Naomi”. And in the end, God restores her life and gives her a grandson through Ruth. She once again embraces her God-given identity and praises the Lord. “The women said to Naomi: “Praise be to the Lord, who this day has not left you without a guardian-redeemer. May he become famous throughout Israel! 15 He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age. For your daughter-in-law, who loves you and who is better to you than seven sons, has given him birth.” 16 Then Naomi took the child in her arms and cared for him. 17 The women living there said, “Naomi has a son!” And they named him Obed. He was the father of Jesse, the father of David.” (Ruth 4:14-17).

Some people point to the example of Paul changing his name from Saul to Paul, but Paul is the equivalent Greek name to the Hebrew name Saul. He wasn’t changing his name. It would be like changing Paul’s name to Pablo, the Spanish version of Paul. It is the same name in a different language.

Although our parents name us, I believe God inspires people to name their children. I am amazed as I learn the meanings of people’s names. They are often very significant and prophetic. In fact, there is a hidden Gospel message in the meanings of the names from Adam to Noah![1] In many cases in the Bible God told the parents what name to give their children such as Jesus Himself, Samson, John the Baptist, and more.

I think most of us really do want to reach this world for Christ. We care about people’s souls, and we want them to know how good Jesus is. However, I think we forget the power of the Gospel and we rely on our human wisdom in order to accomplish God’s will. We rely on relationship-building, and we gauge our effectiveness by how much we are liked. Instead, we need to remember that God compares the truth to a seed that, when planted in the ground, falls into various soils.

Not everyone will receive the truth because they do not want the truth. Romans 1 says the people reject the truth and exchange the truth of God for a lie. It says they worship the created things more than the Creator. I have found that in most cases, those who live as transgender are in deep, emotional pain. They are not looking for truth, but a way out of their pain. However, their solution to get out of their pain is a lie. It’s like someone who does not want chemo-therapy or surgery because it will make them feel pain, but we know it will save their life.

God’s Designed Male and Female On Purpose:

First, ask yourself, do you think God cares if someone identifies as male or female? Why or why not? Genesis 1:27 tells us that “God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” There are probably endless reasons God created us this way, most of which we will not learn this side of Heaven. But there are some purposes we know of:

• God wanted us to be fruitful and multiply
• God wanted the man and the woman to be a gift to one another
• He created males and females with different characteristics to be a good team together
• He made men to bear His image in some ways and women to bear His image in other ways
• He created our entire bodies as male or female, not just our genitalia.

God’s first command to human beings is to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28). We know from biblical studies that the first time God mentions something is significant. His whole point in creating human beings is for relationships. He wanted us to know Him, primarily. But He also created us with the capacity to produce other humans, to build relationships with other humans, and to teach them to know Him. Our desire and ability to be in relationship with others reflects God’s relational nature within the Godhead as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, but also His desire to be in relationship with human beings.

Whether your friend or loved one believes in the Bible or not, the human body is a witness of God’s design as male or female. Only a male-female pair can create life. If evolution were true, then why would it be seen as a biological advantage to need a male and a female to procreate? Evolution says that everything is evolving to higher life forms that are more efficient and more advanced. But there are simple amoebas and bacterium that reproduce asexually, without a sexual partner. In fact, it is mostly very basic life-forms that reproduce asexually. So, it is not due to efficiency, but intentional, purposeful design, that God created us to produce with an opposite-sex partner.

Even though we can adopt children, either as a single person or as a same-sex couple, that is not multiplying. Adoption is wonderful, lifesaving, and in some cases of infertility, our only way to have children. It is a beautiful picture of God’s redemption. Ultimately, however, it is not multiplying. Although sometimes we are not able to physically reproduce children, it does not negate God’s design and purpose for humans to do so. If someone attempts to change their sex, they are taking an enormous risk of infertility, robbing the world of many generations that might have followed.

The Entire Human Body is Created Male or Female

God also created the male and female to be a gift to one another. There are over 6,500 biological differences between men and women. Every single part of the body contains the sex chromosomes. As a result, every part of the body has a sex-specific design in some capacity. Although there are many similarities, there are differences in the design that have large impacts on function. There are differences in the hearing, in the way the brain communicates and processes, in the muscles, in the bones, the lungs, the heart, and so much more. And all of those differences point to the roles that God gave us.

Why would God go to such great lengths to design the entire body as sex-specific if He did not care if we identified as male or female? If it did not matter to God how we identify, I would say that either He would have created us asexually. But if the entire body has a sex-specific design, it is evident that it is integral and foundational to our identity. And if it is that important whether we are created male or female, then it is a great sin against God, and against the person to affirm them as the opposite sex.

God’s Glory Revealed in Male and Female

God is also glorified in His design of male and female. Have you ever looked at someone and been unable to determine if they were male or female? This is a growing trend in our society where people are attempting to erase gender by becoming “non-binary” or “gender non-conforming”. What happens to your brain if you can’t categorize that person as male or female?

Many of the proponents of gender non-conformity would tell you that male or female is a confining, societal construct based on stereotypes. They see gender non-conformity as “freeing” people to be their true, individual, unique selves.

However, many studies have determined that the brain automatically tries to determine gender. This is a hard-wired function that fires neurons in the brain to respond based on sex. This is not only in humans, but in many other species. Mice respond differently by trying to mate with females and attack other males,[i] babies respond more positively to the face of a person who is the same sex as their primary caregiver,[ii] and gender is one of the first things someone recognizes about another person.[iii]

So, God designed every part of our body as male or female, designed our body to reproduce human life, and wired our brains to quickly and easily recognize others as male or female. I have noticed in my own experience that it confuses my brain when I cannot determine the sex of another person. I began asking the Lord why this irritated me. I wasn’t mad at the person, but it seemed as if my brain was determined to categorize them.

The Lord began to teach me that not only has He created male and female bodies different for physical purposes, but that those purposes point to a much greater reality. The entire body of a woman is designed to reflect her relational, nurturing, and comforting nature. This ultimately is a picture to the world of God’s relational, nurturing, comforting nature. The man’s entire body is designed to reflect his ability to spring into action and problem solve, to protect, to lead, and so much more. This is a picture of God’s power, of His leadership, of His protection, and His provision. Both are important, both reflect God’s glory. But they do so differently.

There is much more to His plan for gender than we will understand in this life. But, we have sufficient evidence to say that God’s design was intentional and for His glory. To affirm someone as the opposite sex accomplishes the following:

• It declares that person knows better than God
• It disregards God’s design as important
• It distorts the picture of His image as borne in male or female

We Are Ambassadors of Christ

Sometimes we worry about how people will perceive us rather than obeying Christ. We are often fearful that if someone thinks we are being hateful then we will not represent Christ well. But if Christ is their Creator, how can affirming the opposite of who they are bring Him glory?

We have forgotten that if we belong to Christ, we are ambassadors of the Most-High King. The King who will reign eternally. All other earthly kingdoms will perish. We are living for a cause far beyond this human world.

In the Middle Ages, before the cell phones, email, and text messages, messengers were used to deliver important messages. Royal messengers, employed by the king, had to be highly trustworthy and reliable. The king depended on the messenger’s ability to deliver the message quickly and accurately and to represent him well. This had critical implications as an incorrect message could mean a declaration of war rather than an offer of peace.

In fact, according to The Medieval Chronicles “In times of war, messengers played an even more important role. They were responsible for delivering orders or messages from the commanders to the soldiers on the battlefield. This was a dangerous job as the messenger could be captured or killed by the enemy.”[iv] In fact, in many countries around the world, in ancient times and in modern times, speaking ill of the king is considered treason and is punishable by death.

To say that someone else is right and God is wrong is treason of the King of Heaven, our Creator and Lord. As Paul said, in Romans 3:4 “…Let God be true and every man a liar.” No matter what this culture says God’s message must prevail. At least three times Paul said we have been entrusted with the Gospel message. Just as in times of war, the enemy might try to kill the messenger so that he cannot accomplish his mission of delivering it. But it is our sworn duty to deliver it. We must deliver it with humility and grace, recognizing we are in enemy territory.

Those who are bound by the enemy do not know they are his slaves. They may think they just need to be more comfortable, but they don’t recognize that they are not free. It would be better for them to be uncomfortable and free than a comfortable slave.

We, too, are royal ambassador’s for the rightful King. “So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20 We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.” (2 Corinthians 12:16-20).

God has entrusted us with His message. We must do our best to deliver that message with accuracy, not for our sake, but for His.  

Our Cloud of Witnesses

There are many examples in the history of the church where Christians were persecuted for not giving in a certain point. Athanasius of Alexandria, for example, was exiled several times for defending the deity of Christ against the heresy of Arianism, which claimed Christ was a created being. The Anabaptists were persecuted and ultimately killed for standing against infant baptism in favor of adult professions of faith in Christ.[v] Martin Luther was persecuted and eventually forced to live in exile primarily because of his fight for the declaration that salvation is by faith alone and not faith plus works as the Catholic church proclaimed at that time.

Early Christians in Rome were allowed to practice their faith openly, for the most part. Rome was a pagan, pluralistic society, and they worshipped many gods, which we refer to as mythological. However, once a year they were commanded to go to the temple, put a pinch of incense into the fire, and say “Caesar is Lord”. 364 days a year they could worship Jesus, but once a year they were asked to make one concession, one tiny compromise. Many of them were persecuted and killed for their refusal to do so.

There was a wealthy woman named Perpetua and her servant Felicity who were martyred for their refusal to worship the pagan gods. “During the days before their execution, their teacher Saturus voluntarily joined the catechumens so that he might die for Christ with them. Perpetua’s father, a wealthy pagan, pleaded with her to offer sacrifice to the pagan gods so she could be free, but she refused. She said, ‘Father do you see this water jar, or whatever it is, standing here? Could one call it by any other name than what it is? Well, in the same way I cannot be called by any other name than what I am—a Christian.’”[vi]

Perpetua’s captors beat her father in front of her to persuade her and he took her son from her. But still, she refused, knowing that in a few days they would be thrown to the wild beasts in the arena for the cruel entertainment of the jeering crowd. Her servant Felicitas said, “I suffer what I’m suffering now, but then there will be another in me, who will suffer for me, because I am about to suffer for Him.”

Ancient paganism is steeped in gender confusion and non-conformity. In many ancient cultures, gender non-conformity was seen as worship to these pagan gods. For example, the ancient Sumerian goddess Innana was said to have the power to turn men into women and women into men.[vii] The Galli priests in Rome who wanted to join the Cult of Cybele would parade down the streets and castrate themselves as worship to her.[viii] Affirming someone’s transgender identity would be akin to encouraging them to worship pagan gods.

Practical Steps

1. REMEMBER: they are in pain. They want to recreate themselves into someone who does not feel the pain.

God knew Naomi’s reaction was due to pain. When her life was going well she did not desire to have another identity. But when her heart was full of pain and she was bitter towards the Lord she did not like being called pleasant. Sometimes when someone has been hurt, they do not like being affirmed as who they are. Sometimes the pain is turned inward and they begin to hate themselves. They wish they could have been someone else. They become jealous of others and fantasize about recreating themselves.

But God is in the business of restoration. He came to bind up the broken-hearted, to restore, and to heal. Isaiah 61 says that the Messiah will, bind up the brokenhearted, proclaim freedom for the captives, and release from darkness for the prisoners. He will comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve. He will bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

As a result, the once broken will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord, for the display of his splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations. They will be called priests of the Lord and ministers of our God. Their shame will be turned into a double portion of the Lord’s grace and they will rejoice in their inheritance. And they will have everlasting joy.

Many people try to shame us as being hateful. But the truth is we love that person so much we want to see them restored and receive all of the blessings mentioned above.

2. BE KIND: Don’t embarrass or cause unnecessary harm

There is a big difference between someone you meet out in public and someone you have an existing relationship with. Sometimes in public, I may think someone is transgender, but I discover that I am wrong. I am always thankful I did not say something in those cases. When addressing someone I don’t know, I address them as politely as possible. In some cases, I may avoid a pronoun or name altogether. I might initially use the name on their nametag and if I’ve had the opportunity to discover they are trans, I may ask their real name. However, if you have an existing relationship with the person, share some of the points I made above as to why you can’t call them by the name/pronoun they have chosen.

3. DISARM: Ask Questions and Engage them In Conversation Instead of Responding to their Demand

Ask questions such as:

• Why don’t you like being called “Johnny”? (insert name)
• What happened to “Susie”?
• Why don’t you like being a boy (or a girl, whichever applies)
• Why don’t you feel like you fit in with the boys (or girls)?
• Tell me more about your experience. What does it mean to “feel” like a “man” (or a “woman”)
• What does it mean to be a man (or a woman)?

Sometimes the pain is too intense to talk about. They might not want to express why this is so painful. But if they have this kind of emotional reaction where they can’t talk about it, you know it is based in emotional pain. Pray and ask the Lord to help them connect their pain to their desire to transition.

4. The Point: Never forget that the real help they need is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Surrendering their life to Him is the most important step they need to take. He will reveal who He created them to be.

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Sources:

[1] “Hidden Revelation in the Genealogy from Adam to Noah”. https://thetruthgroup.com/genealogy-from-adam-to-noah/

[i] Goldman, Bruce. “Animal Magnetism: Scientists find neurons that hard-wire brains to recognize the sex of strangers”. 2019 June 12. https://stanmed.stanford.edu/brains-hard-wired-recognize-opposite-sex/

[ii] Pickron, Charisse B. and Cheries, Erik W. “Infants’ Individuation of Faces by Gender”. Brain Sciences. 2019 Jul 11. doi: 10.3390/brainsci9070163. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6680589/

[iii] Puiu, Tibi. “When interacting with other people, we first notice race and gender”. 2015 March 8. ZME Science. https://www.zmescience.com/science/when-interacting-with-other-people-we-first-notice-race-and-gender

[iv] Medieval Messenger – The Bearer of Important News! https://www.medievalchronicles.com/medieval-life/medieval-jobs-list/medieval-messenger-the-bearer-of-important-news/

[v] The Anabaptists and Persecution Against Them. http://www.danielhaston.com/roots/anabaptists/anabaptists.htm

[vi] Saints Perpetua and Felicity. https://www.loyolapress.com/catholic-resources/saints/saints-stories-for-all-ages/saint-perpetua-and-saint-felicity/

[vii] CULT OF INANNA/ISHTAR. https://www.encyclopedia.com/social-sciences/encyclopedias-almanacs-transcripts-and-maps/inanna-ishtar

[viii] THE GALLI: BREAKING ROMAN GENDER NORMS. https://www.english-heritage.org.uk/learn/histories/lgbtq-history/the-galli/